The following article comes to us from an organization in Singpore called Beyond Social Services, which is a Voluntary Welfare Organization which works directly with children, youth and their families in various settings, such as in schools, after-school care, residential homes & Rehabilitation Training Centres. The article comes from their "Juvenile Justice Message" written by their Director, Mr. Gerard Ee. To learn more about Beyond Social Services, please visit their website, www.beyond.org.sg/
"In every school and neighbourhood there are children without hope, but no child is hopeless. Each was put here for a purpose. These are just children who have yet discovered their purpose. That is our mission." - Muhammad Ali
Dear Educator,
Mrs Sim was jolted from her sleep by a loud thud. She continued to lay in bed as she wondered if she had been dreaming. But a few seconds later, she heard a shriek and some laughter. She woke her husband and cautiously they got out of their bedroom. There was no one in the living room. Before returning to bed, they thought that they would just take a peek at their children. Just then, their daughter’s bedroom door opened and to their shock a teenager they did not know stumbled out in hysterical laughter.
Mr. and Mrs. Sim furiously stomped into their daughter’s room and were only greeted by the stench of glue. Their daughter and 6 other teenagers could only stare at them in silence. Both Mr. & Mrs. Sim experienced a range of deep feelings. They felt violated in their own home. They were extremely disappointed with Anna, their 14 year old daughter but could not also help feeling disappointed with themselves. They were angry with Anna and yet extremely concerned for her.
When the police arrived, they did not find any evidence of glue sniffing. As they began escorting the 6 teens to the police station for their statements, one of then turned to Mrs Sim and asked if she would permit her daughter to undergo a blood test. As a mother who was concerned about the health and well being of her daughter, she said yes immediately.
Anna returned home 8 hours later and the politeness she offered her parents masked the resentment she had towards them. After her friends told the police that Anna had invited them to her house, they were let off as it was not a crime to be visiting a friend. Anna remained behind for her blood test. Anna felt betrayed by her parents. She believed that she would be institutionalized and so decided that she might as well paint the town red one last time. The next day, Anna left home and did not return. Only after 3 weeks, did her parents see her again when they bailed her from the police station for assault and battery.
When we began this monthly email in September 2006, we sought your assistance in alerting us to the ‘discretionary’ offenses that were committed in school so that we could divert the offending students away from the criminal justice system. Soon after, we realized that students usually offended outside school hours. Hence, we learned to work with the different stakeholders at different points of the justice process as we supported the students and their families to put in place their care and supervision plan. Anna, her family, her school and all others who have offered their support are now hoping that the effort they have put into such a plan will persuade the court to issue a order for probation instead of institutionalization.
Over the past 3 months, Anna and her family have been having several conversations that mattered. Mom and dad did not offer any distracting incentives to get Anna and her siblings talking; yet it was a most rewarding family effort. The conversations kept Anna in a contemplative mood and a couple of weeks ago she wrote an essay pondering on the meaning of happiness which her parents shared with us. Here are just a few lines.
“Parents may think that they have done their job by providing the best for their children but do they know what their child really wants? Perhaps, it is just a simple family meal each day. Being the eldest, my parents wanted me to be independent but I felt neglected so I looked for happiness outside my home. Outside, I was independent. I smoked, drank and broke the law without fear. I thought that this was happiness.”
Anna concluded her essay by proclaiming that happiness is when one feels accepted and loved. Happiness is a sense of belonging. She also felt really grateful for the way the school helped her catch up and was surprised that she found happiness in the mastery of her schoolwork. During the June holidays, Anna volunteered at a pre-school for disadvantaged children and that showed her that happiness is also a sense of generosity.
Finally, she also wrote about how she was always concerned about what her friends would say if she did go along with the bad stuff. Her ‘freedom’ was not really independence. Thankfully, today it appears that she is learning to make sound decisions and that is a real sense of independence. Thank you for your support over the last 3 years.
Sincerely,
Gerard Ee
Executive Director
Beyond Social Services
Singapore
