By: Dr. Martin Brokenleg
Vice President & Co-Founder, Reclaiming Youth International
Several days each year, I lead training days for teachers, child-workers, and parents. On those days, I sometimes have a few minutes during breaks to speak with individuals. I am impressed with the dedication and effort I see among teachers and youth workers. I am sometimes breathless when I see the love parents have for their children.
Often when I travel to a training day, taxi drivers, hotel clerks, or fellow travelers ask me what I am going to. My usual answer is that I help adults who work with kids find the best ways to keep kids out of trouble. Usually the driver or traveler nods the head and smiles saying something like how necessary the task is. Sometimes I understand that the questioner realizes the seriousness of life for today’s youth. At other times, I know the questioner is remembering raising children and may chuckle at the memory. Only an occasional questioner seems to be cynical about youth.
Thinking about these responses, I ask myself how can a parent, youth worker, or teacher keep a focused consciousness about youth and their own ability to deal with the tasks facing them as they interact with youth?
I sometimes talk about the negative effect excess television has on youth. The Search Institute, in an early study entitled, The Troubled Journey, identified excess television as a deficit for youth. One negative effect of television is the teaching about life and behavior that it portrays. Without a trusted adult present to comment on images and programs, a child can absorb teaching that is not in the child’s best interests. I am particularly concerned about the sophisticated psychology used in advertising. Advertising may claim to speak to the positive qualities of a product when in actuality the psychological attention in the ad is directed to the values of youth (and adults). Although the message of the ad is spoken or in print words and so is conscious, the message really aims at the viewer’s values and is visual, subtle, and unconscious.
Some examples of this psychological manipulation may include: “Without the kind of laundry detergent we are selling, your life is not complete.” “Smelling like a natural human being is unacceptable, so you must buy this deodorant.” “ You were not born with the right hair color and will be unattractive without purchasing our hair dye.” “If you don’t drive our car you will lack status.”
Of course, no advertiser is this open but the messages are consistent. The message is not stated directly but is a foundational assumption of the ad. Rational minds can see the message when analyzed separate from viewing an ad, but the unconscious message absorbed when viewing the ad is, “You, the viewer, are inadequate and unacceptable just as you are unless you purchase this product”.
I am concerned that youth workers, teachers, and parents may be absorbing the message that they are not adequate to the tasks of their life and profession. The risk factors in lives of contemporary youth are many and ever changing. This is enough to shake the confidence of any adult. Working for youth is difficult. The message of advertising, that we are not enough, is disheartening.
This is what I see when I travel to do training: dedicated, well-meaning adults who care deeply about the children and youth in their care and who want to be the best they can be for their children. Whether in small towns, isolated reserves, or large urban areas, I see adults who have the inner strength to direct their youth in positive directions. I regularly come across valuable teachers and child workers who have the emotional abundance to motive their youth. I find loving and caring parents everywhere who will do anything to see their children grow to a happy life. I am so grateful to see these adults working for our kids.
The truth is that you, the parent, are enough, just as you are. You teachers are intelligent and dedicated enough just as you are. Youth workers are completely adequate, just as you are, with the skills that you have. I am not saying that we should not improve our knowledge and skills. I am saying that youth workers, parents, and teachers possess the dedication, the intelligence, and the skills that you need for your work. Believe and live as though you have all that is needed to support the kids in your care. Understand and work with confidence in the personality and emotional support that you bring to your career. The truth is, “You are enough just as you are. You carry this truth in your heart and need to see it each day.”
